BIRTH DATE: January 14, 1917 URS DATE: August 10, 1997
Arifa in her 20’s
Arifa with her mother embarking on a cruise to France
Arifa dancing the Lord’s Prayer
Hazrat Inayat Khan
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Write to Khushi Tanveer, Administrator SufiRemembrance@sonic.net
Yes, I have warm souvenirs to her.
when I was a work-study student at the Abode in 1989 she was moving out there to some place and I helped her moving, carrying her stuff etc. I had to dump her paper basket, but I saw papers of the Sangathas in the basket, therefore I didnot dump the basket, but carried it instead into the kitchen of Dowla, to check the content. At that moment she returned and she saw, what I did. And she started to laugh that tears were running out her eyes. I felt catched and embarrassed. Anyway, this was, when I got into possession of my first Sangathas (some unusual serie I believe), and I had no right to have them. Today I am laughing myself about this happening.
Arifa teached me the value of balance.
Once, there was a dancing-session at the Abode. Several young women were dancing pretty neat, should have been spiritual, but then SHE entered the stage. She was already old then, in her 70, I believe, but when she started to dance, I was simply overwhelmed. She did unbelievable subtle and fine movements. Slowly. She outdanced the other girls without effort.
It was really stunning. I will never forget those events with Arifa Miller.
Assad-ud-din Splieth, Germany
How exquisite it was to watch Arifa’s light become even stronger in the last weeks I saw her, before I left the Abode of the Message July 30, 1997, for California. For weeks her face shone with the force of an inner sun, like Prince Huraksh was blasting forth his radiance through her. She became lighter in every way: she floated. Knowing I was preparing to leave, she shared her own inner and outer preparations. She would give me knowing glances, secret smiles, as though we shared some deep delicious secret, each getting ready for our own journey. But she still was on the earth plane, for she was the first to come to my clothing “free store” giveaway to stock up for the winter…just in case. When I heard of her death not long after, my soul leapt. I “saw” her in all her glory…her whole body, being, radiant…as she was met by an ecstatic chorus of Beings who welcomed her and rejoiced in her arrival. Thank you, Arifa, for all you have given me, and continue to do. Carry on, sweet angel.
Majida Gibson Petaluma, California
I keep Arifa’s picture on a bulletin board I have near my computer along with other luminaries; such as, the Dalai Lama, Murshid, and (one of my personal favorites!) Bill Cosby. Everyday she smiles down on me and this is the way it was when I lived with her at the Abode of the Message too.
Actually, since Arifa was such a strong-willed individual we often found ourselves in heated arguments over this topic or that during the day. But the beautiful gift that Arifa gave me was that every morning the slate would be wiped absolutely clean and we would start again as fresh as the dawn. On the same bulletin board that I have her picture, I also have the saying “Let the beauty we love, be what we do” and Arifa was the living embodiment of this saying.
Thank you, Arifa, for teaching me the gift of renewal.
Elizabeth “Elsa” Weber
It is so sweet to remember Arifa in the last week of her life. There was a music camp at the Abode, and every time I saw her she seemed to be surrounded by young men. Her last weekend on the planet was with her beloved teacher and guide, Pir Vilayat. When I first got the news that she had been killed in her car returning from that retreat, my very first thought. “AH, free at last.” And the image of that moment was a photograph of her standing tall, and clear and radiant dressed all in white with her arms and face raised to the heavens, the hem of her dress wrapped around as if she had just finished whirling. Beauty and freedom were now hers in the union of lover and beloved. She is still so very present in my life as I have her walking stick. So so many years later, Arifa keeps me straight on the path. What a blessing she continues to be in my life.
When I first arrived at the Abode in 1976, Arifa took me to her dance class in Woodstock and introduced me to her astrologer friend Mary Orser, and a few other people in that neighborhood.
Arifa always kept a focus on the importance of incorporating our spiritual awareness in a physical sense , and she danced till the very end. Her car had the bumper sticker “I’d rather be dancing” and that was what she was doing on her last day!
When I was recovering from my fire in 1981, it was Arifa who opened a door for me to start a new job, working at the Hospice in Albany – her name was Fatah in those days, and it was a good one for that time.
She could be critical, and quite annoying at times. When I was director of the Abode there were three things that we didn’t see eye to eye on, and she gave me quite a bit of grief about them. There may have been more, but I have forgotten them. I had moved and was living in CA the day I found myself having a conversation with Arifa in my head, and she was listing those three things and telling me she had been mistaken…a little while later I had occasion to telephone Rabia, and because I left a message on Rabia’s answering machine, I received a call from Aftab that Arifa had departed, and I knew that the conversation I had had was real !
Arifa is the spiritual Godmother of our sons, and as such, I speak with her often regarding the challenges they are facing. To this day, she has something valuable to say to me, and always begins with “Oh Dearie”. What a blessing!
Arifa touched so many and continues to touch and teach all of us. I am fortunate enough to have been given a very special gift: A pair of earrings which Arifa wore. I wear these earrings when I feel the need for additional strength and guidance, as I wear these special earrings, Arifa is there saying “now Dear.” Love to you Dear Arifa, Love to you. Thank you for all your gifts of life, love, guidance and knowledge.
Greetings to Arifa’s “loved ones”
I just became aware of this site to “leave a memory”. What a wonderful “web” we weave and way to stay connected. I submit my poem before…
Though known to many by other names,
for I, and brothers two, you’re simply,
“Mom”
Mom you are missed,
but how could you not,
being such a presence.
I have
photographs with your face so aglow,
cheeks about to burst,
eyes spout your spirit.
I have
a collection of items that inventory
time shared in our family home,
that only we three may now recall.
I have
tales about your worldly adventures
from an alp camp tent to saguaro desert dome
each told in superlative detail ~
feats of being bold with a boa snake,
curling curiously around you,
when you decided to embrace that scare in India ~
or far out in an azure sea,
swimming creatures beneath you,
as you snorkled to face down that fear in St. Croix.
And yet you can be suddenly here,
when I hear a wooden spoon
scraping a mixing bowl
and tapping twice ~
when washing new lettuce,
knowing it must be whirled,
and never iceberg ~
when any ripe fruit is handed out,
your favorite spiel
for an anytime nosh ~
when folding hospital corners
to tuck fresh-aired sheets, tight and crisp,
as a nurse’s aide you once were ~
when testing the top of door trims
for dust overlooked from below
just to tease each other’s thoroughness ~
when walking where sunlight glistens,
feathers found on the ground,
stones held to save and rub ~
when flowers greeted, wild or gardened,
to marvel and smell
deeply of their divinity ~
when anyone offers a dance, a poem, a song
that moves the spirit
to reveal reverence ~
when I’m by an ocean’s edge,
as I was the moment
you rose away ~
when noticing all the beauty there is,
I feel your nudge, your nod,
your glee.
In so many ways you remain,
certainly expressing your will,
that urges actions
to be taken or given ~
intending within that surge, that dance,
for me to honor my talents, my purpose,
by discovering how deep,
and exploring how far,
I am,
so gratefully,
your son, Checko.
~ ~ ~
For most of my years and certainly in my youth you were simply Aunt Jean. Some of the fondest memories of my life were our family Thanksgivings when you all would come to Connecticut to spend Thanksgiving weekend with us. Those weekends are, inarguably, the fondest memories of my entire life. But there are others. The months when you and Checko and I shared an apartment in Florida were, well, wonderful. You took full advantage of the fruit trees growing outside our door and made sure that we always had a full jar of fresh-cut fruit in the fridge. Wonderful things came out of our kitchen and I have to admit I never felt better, before or since. You would put up with my shenanigans and just laugh and say “Oh, Rick”. You knew that peace and beauty in this world began within every individual and you made sure to, in one way or another, tell every individual you met. That’s another thing I’ll never forget. I am fortunate enough to have a lifetime of memories of you but I so wish that I could have seen more of you, spent more time with you. You touched everyone you met, your spirit so gentle and giving (you always looked people right in the eye) yet you always made sure to point them in the right direction if they needed it and you knew if they did. Remarkable. I love you Arifa, Aunt Jean, and I miss you.
Rick
A brief chat – sounds so fleeting – and yet your dazzling eyes and delightful smile spoke deeply of a brilliant soul. You gently reached out to gather hold and get a better view of the charms round my neck – i usually would NOT allow anyone that much room on such short notice – but your energy & presence assured me it was alright. Briefly & peripherally i was brought into your closer circle by way of the “share a mom program” – i have every installment. May your spirit & energy continue to flow & dance.
Arifa was my spiritual guide as a child and she was like a second grandmother to me. We enjoyed many trips in the car on the way to the chiropractor, when I would ask her all about the “birds and the bees” 🙂 Her answers resonnate with me still today. She taught me all about faith and its relationship to spirituality. I draw on that strength everyday.
Seventeen years since our beloved Friend leapt into the next dance. She had prepared us as well as she could in advance by having wonderful gatherings in which she once said she was so excited, looking forward to about meeting Buddha and Jesus!
Among the countless gifts of presence and guidance Arifa shared was connecting her friends to one another. So often she made sure that I, who was comfortable in the background, went for a meeting with Pir Vilayat, and she took me to meet Dr. Michael.
When we were once wintering in Tucson she noticed me watching her put on her earrings and responded… ” you know dear, it’s not just for ourselves that we want to look beautiful. It makes other people happy.”
The beauty of her soul and the generosity of her spirit continue to make me happy.
I remember Arifa coming to the camp des Aigles in Chateau Queryas France one year. She was giving an afternoon talk on the Divine Names, and found some really nice rock and roll music to give people another way of experiencing what they meant. One of the pieces came from Paul Simon’s Graceland. At that moment, Pir Vilayat came into the tent (she was the same age as Pir, I believe) and he started telling her off, that this music was just so common and unseemly for her to bring to the camp. I’ll never forget how she just had a great breezy chuckle about this. It did not bother her in the least, but afterwards, we had a meeting with Pir and she tried to explain to him why she chose that music. At the end of the conversation, Pir Vilayat gave in to her unique style of teaching!
I still think of her often, especially her encouraging me when I was much younger about my love of music. She would say, “deary, you ARE music. don’t forget that.”
Arifa came to Tucson as a snowbird for several years and was a regular source of inspiration with many ideas of things that could be done. She always supported me and appealed to my higher self. She touched my heart with her humor, energy, and caring. I keep a picture on her on my alter. With her Urs coming in a couple of days she is on my mind and in my heart.