Birth date: July 10, 1933 URS date: October 29, 2011
(In Qahira’s own words and handwriting):
“Obituary:
“Qahira Qalbi had many names like Jalelah, Patricia, Darlene, Landa, Engle, and Fraley. She was born very early on a July morning in 1933, and lived till the end of her life, and will be cremated at the end of this week. Her ashes will be thrown over the nearest Ocean from a plane, and the words will be heard: May the message of God reach far and wide.
“Memorial service will be announced: a pot-luck, with song and dance and a great good time to be had by all. Qahira promises to be there too.”
“Epitaph:
“At last! Going Home.”“Eulogy:
“Qahira’s motto from the age of nine was, “Make it simple; keep it simple.” She added another in her forties: “The best way to love is to serve.”
“She really was born with a purpose and didn’t have to look for a great Cause.
Life was an adventure and, knowing her, still is.
She touched and was touched by many beautiful souls, and now is one with them all”
Published obituary:
Jalelah (Qahira Qalbi) Fraley
Jalelah Engle Fraley, known in later years as Qahira Qalbi, passed peacefully on October 29, 2011, surrounded by loving family, after a prolonged illness. A Memorial service and Celebration of Life will be held on Saturday, November 19 at 2:00 PM, at the Camarillo United Methodist Church at 291 Anacapa Drive, Camarillo. Following the service, there will be a potluck meal, as she requested, “with song and dance and a great good time to be had by all,” at the Church’s Mission House across the parking lot from the sanctuary. For further information, contact Regina Coeli at reginaceli@aol.com
Qahira was born to a Sufi family on July 10, 1933 in Staten Island, New York. Her parents, Fatha and Bakhti Engle, were initiates of Hazrat Inayat Khan and were Sufi Center leaders in New York City and in Cleveland. Fatha was Hazrat Inayat Khan’s driver, when he had a Model A Ford, and was Murshid’s secretary for some years.
Jalelah (Qahira) was married to Robert E. Fraley (Tansen-Muni) for 45 years, and she and Tansen-Muni raised six children in an avocado orchard in Camarillo Heights, California. She was preceded in death by her youngest son Alan David Fraley. She is survived by her children Dean (Daunne) Fraley, Eric (Beth) Fraley, Daryl (Lisa) Fraley, Tana (Nathan) Johnson, and Leila (Todd) Tackett. Other joys include 20 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren.
The Fraleys became well known for their pioneering promotion of natural childbirth and breastfeeding, organic farming, natural healthcare and fasting, and vegetarianism. Qahira was an active leader in the La Leche League, which promotes breastfeeding, and she taught childbirth classes.
Qahira was a cheraga and Siraj of the Universal Worship, a Retreat Guide, and a Center Leader for many years. After raising her beautiful family, she traveled widely as a Representative of the Sufi Order, spreading the Message of Love, Harmony, and Beauty, leading seminars and retreats, speaking at conferences, and guiding truly magical spiritual journeys to India, Turkey, Egypt, New Zealand, Australia, Israel, and Western and Eastern Europe. For several years in the 1990’s she was Director of the Abode of the Message.
Separated amicably from Tansen-Muni, Qahira spent the last twelve years of her life living in the bosom of her family in Camarillo, first in Leila’s home and then next door in Tana’s home, withdrawing from external activity due to a series of illnesses and strokes. Over the past three years, following a severe stroke, a large number of Qahira’s beloved friends and mureeds in the Sufi Order have been contributing to help the family care for her at home. The family wishes to thank all those who donated time, finances and extended prayers throughout Qahira’s illness. All your loving messages and expressions of support were appreciated.
As Pir Zia recently noted, Qahira Qalbi was “an extraordinary human being possessed of an extraordinarily magnanimous heart, a bright smile, an easy manner, and deep maternal wisdom. She inspired and was inspired by many beautiful souls, and she is now one with them all.” She is greatly cherished and will be greatly missed by many grateful hearts.
I recollect my first glimpse of Qahira at the Lama Foundation Summer Camp, while Pir Vilayat
addressed us from beneath the white parachute and the blue, blue sky, Qahira on the hill, veiled like
The Mother of the World….
Qahira Qalbi was an extraordinary human being possessed of an extraordinarily magnanimous heart. Like her esteemed father and mother before her, she made outstanding contributions to the work of the Sufi Message, contributions that will always be remembered with reverence. Qahira’s bright smile, easy manner, and deep maternal wisdom inspired many, many souls, and she is now “one with them all.”
An old friend who met Qahira just once shared this memory the evening she died, still vivid almost 20 years later: He was part of the local group that organized an event with Qahira outside Tampa in the early ’90s. It was held in an an exotic landscaped nursery full of flowers, set beneath giant oaks draped with Spanish moss. Hundreds of people came and settled in as he stayed in the back to purvey the scene. When Qahira began to speak he raised his hand and said it was difficult to hear her. She said, “Then come here,” patting the carpet on which she sat. When he came forward and sat near her, she leaned over and whispered in his ear, “This is where you belong.”
How to enfold the magic of Qahira? Her beauty, her compassion, her loving nature? We met some 30+ years ago, and bonded immediately. I spent much time in California because of my work, so often stayed at Qahira and Tansen’s place in Camarillo. She introduced me to many members of the California Sufi community; a wonderful group of devoted mureeds, several who became good friends. I recall with great joy what fun we, and Kashfinur, had on our trip in 1984 to Israel and Egypt. We rode camels together, went to myriad churches and monasteries, climbed (partly) up Moses’ mountain in the Sinai Desert, haggled with Arab peddlers over rugs and beads, and had a great time. We were such innocents abroad! It was a grand adventure, and I was privileged to share it with an angelic Being who walked, for a time, on the Earth.
So many memories as Qahira was my first teacher after taking bayat in 1972. Qahira, Tansen-Muni and Murshida Bhakti were the Leaders; they trained me as a Cheraga.
One of my best stories is Qahira sat and massaged my feet during my labor when I gave birth to my daughter. Afterwards, I looked over and she was on her hands and knees, mopping my kitchen floor. I was the first mureed Qahira named.
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajiun : ‘We are from Allah and to Him are we returning.’ Quran (2:156)
Qahira was at a Camp at the Abode with Pir Vilayat. She performed the walk of Moses while Pir Vilayat looked on approvingly and with obvious respect. Qahira told me my name means “beautiful flower.” She was full of light!
as i look outside my office and see my garden of beautiful oak trees i am reminded of Qahira’s garden ….. orange groves … and warm smiles of love and radiance …. and ice cream … seems to fit also . Qahira , blessed one , thank you for your grace and generous spirit…. light and love …….
Oh dear Qahira, I feel so blessed to have you as my Teacher! You are closer than ever to me now now that you are with your Beloved.
I have so many memories of wonderful conversations on the phone with you, but when you came to stay in my ancient farm house in Australia that was just sublime.
Qahira asked me where she could buy a sheep-skin to sit on, as is customary for a Murshid. I was so happy that I was able to give her a skin from one of my own sheep as a gift.
I also remember feeling so embarassed that our living conditions were only marginally better than that of dervish. When I had to show her where the toilet was, my embarassment increased. But she just laughed, and said how wonderful it was to sit outside and that it reminded her of Sufi Camp. Everything was a joy to her. She saw God everywhere and within everyone.
Thank you so much, dear Qahira for leading me to the Light!
Delightful memories of Qahira Qalbi coming to Australia many years ago, inspiring us with the Sufi message of Love, Light and Peace.
How blessed I feel to have had the opportunity to to sit at her feet and listen to the transmission of the Sufi message so beautifully given. Firstly in the tranquil “Persian Rose Garden” of Nurjahan and Djalal’s. On another visit at “Morningswood,” where Qahira gave a six day retreat.
Ah, so many wonderful memories.
Rest in the arms of the Beloved, dearest Qahira.
Qahira opened the door to Sufism in a gentle and spiritually meaningful path of understanding for a novice on a search.
Go in peace Qahira
Rozanne
Qahira will always be present in my life. She was my first guide, gave me my first name, named my first-born son, and was Godmother to both of my boys, a true friend and teacher. The Fraley home was site of many happy memories. Every day I think of her advice, “Love is the answer, now what is the question?” The last time I saw her at Tansen’s funeral I whispered in her ear, “ I love you,” and she smiled at me and said, “ I know.”
When Qahira became my guide she gave me a prayerful blessing while standing in the middle of her sofa so she could be tall enough to place her hands on my head. I’ve forgotten the words, but the magic in her eyes and the radiance in her heart took me away and I’ve never come back. I count it as one of the great blessings of my life to have known her. “Happy is the time when we sit in the palace, You and I
With two forms and two faces, but a single soul, You and I.”
My first meeting with Qahira was in Seattle at Prajaphati and Saraswati’s home. We sat together in a small room/closet. After a time, she opened her eyes and said “we will meet again”. I was so touched by her loving being and knowing smile. We did meet many times and will indeed meet again.
Thank you for touching my heart.
Qahira initiated me in the 90’s. I remember her telling me that I didn’t need to sign anything. I asked what a Sufi was. She said I would find out. I am still finding out. She was full of compassion and love. I remember sitting across from her and asking, “What is love,” so many times. It was part of an exercise. Yet, she had so many ways of describing love. I believe she is now one with the love she portrayed. Thank you.
Qahira Madeara, what a twinkling star you were!
I’ll always remember the way you loved to play with words, joking once to me, as we were both July babies, “Summer fun, and some aren’t.”
On a more serious note, when I was wondering what to do with people who just seem bent on attacking me when I’ve taken the part of an open heart, you replied, “Take the wound.”
My husband and I are visiting our oldest daughter in London.This evening we spent time in Gordon Square, and walked by the Khan home on Taviton. As we walked I thought about Qahira, and we talked, and I told my husband stories of Qahira’s wisdom and love.I was remembering when she told me about time…how time was a spiral, or many spirals, and how it actually did speed up and slow down as it seemed to, and about geometry, and oh so many cosmic things.God bless her soul. And I am so so grateful to have had her as my Guide.Shekinah (Atlanta)
Some years ago I had the privilege of hosting a weekend retreat given by Qahira. My memory is of a limpid stream of cosmic spirituality issuing from her lips. In particular I remember her saying that the light we breathe in comes from the furthest stars, and when we exhale it goes back to the remote realms of the universe — not her words exactly, but the idea. She mentioned the Qu’ran only once and that was a relief, because I do not subscribe to religions of the book. I thought her Sufism pure and clear because it was cosmically based. Real starry stuff.
Qahira, with heartfelt reverence, became my modern day voice of Rumi’s Divine intoxicated expressions! I remember the first time I heard her spell bounding recitation of Rumi’s poetry that penetrated the depth of my spiritual immunity! I fell in love, all the more, with the inoculation of “deep listening” that Imam Bilal always prescribed in our Sufi practices. Qahira’s embrace of every poem felt like blissful zikr to the mind and a sacred balm to the soul for having performed it! I am eversograteful for the quality and depth of Qahira’s journey embodied and infused in the recitation of a work akin to her very own … illumination of the soul! THANK YOU MY DEAR BELOVED SISTER QAHIRA! HUUUUU!
I first met Qahira in Portland Oregon. I went to a seminar to meet a friend’s spiritual teacher and came home surprised – and an initiate in the Sufi Order. Qahira has been in my heart ever since that day, for over 35 years, a steady pulse of love and light.
I remember her having a tea party with my daughters. I remember her talking to a skeptic about the spiritual path, and I remember the twinkle in her eye as she said ‘you are in for a great surprise’. I remember how her faith in me held me steady at times when I lost faith in myself. I remember the warmth and love in her voice when she spoke of her family, and spending time with her family. Here are two stories about Qahira that I love:
Qahira was sitting in a room full of leaders, all on retreat. Pir Vilayat asked if anyone there could say they were enlightened. Everyone looked at each other, but only two people responded to him. One was Qahira.
Qahira was talking about how we come to earth. She said she likes to think that there is a place before life, like a town, where similar souls gather, where they get ready to enter life. One says ‘I’ll go first, and then you and you, and – okay – you can come through me. But no more after that.’
Qahira Qalbi leaves a stream of inner wisdom, power, delight and beauty that will not be erased. So many of us looked to her boundless love to guide us on the path of awakening. So many of us continue to remember her with overflowing hearts.
I went to visit her in Camarillo a couple of years ago. It seems much more recent in my memory. I said to her that many people ask about her and love her. She said that if anyone asks about her to say she sends her love right back. I feel that love, so present, so rich, continuing.
I wish Tana, Leila, Dean, and all the family love and blessing at this time.
I moved to the abode shortly after Q did and quickly after she initiated me. We decided to take Tai Chi together and she suggested I go to the first class to check it out for her. She decided to come to the next class with me. She appears to be a round polish grandmother w/ sparkling eyes…. however…I introduced her to the teacher and they shook hands. He felt the power/healing touch/qi that ran thru her hands and just said WOW! while shaking his head. very funny moment.
IT was August, 1981. I was standing in the Abode courtyard, a friend’s baby in arms, talking to Qahira. “Qahira,” I said, “do you think I will ever have a child?” She looked at me and said,”do you have a partner?” “No”, I said. “Well these souls have a way of bringing people together” At that moment a voice inside said,” you will have a child within a year”. One year almost to the day, my daughter was born.
Summer, 1992. My daughter and I attend a Camp with Pir Vilayat in Mendocino County, California. Qahira is making regular trips to Poland and is doing some fundraising at the camp. My daughter, 10 years old now, is completely taken with Qahira and decides to join the fundraising effort by making drawings and selling them at the camp, letting everyone know that the money is going to Poland. Qahira praises her art to the heavens, giving my daughter a deep sense of importance and esteem. Their bond is palpable.
Thank-you Qahira for the countless blessings you bestowed while with us on this plane of existence!
Jalelah who evolved into Qahira Qalbi is still alive in my heart. As a young man seeking spiritual enlightenment I attended Sufi classes, dances and retreats in and around the Los Angeles area for many years. Qahira was one of the three area leaders. Said Oso, Tasnim and Qahira were each part of my mentoring and development. But it was Qahira who gave me my name and initiation in both the Sufi Order and as a Cherag. I have never met anyone else who radiated love, compassion and understanding like she did. I read an earlier memory about her being one of two leaders who admitted to Pir that they were enlightened; she was and is.
My life and so many others were truly enriched and awaken by her words and deeds.
There were many beautiful beings at my first Sufi summer camp (in 1984). I was drawn to Qahira for her warmth, sparkling eyes and strong family ties and she became my first guide. In 1986 she led a trip to Turkey in December which I’ve often described as “two perfect weeks”. Turkey and the lovely Turkish people opened to us through Qahira’s warmth and shopping prowess.
She gave excellent practices that fit exactly where I was at. Qahira was an examplar of a loving, compassionate and passionate being. She is now brightening up her new, better surroundings.
Thank you to the family and friends who have lovingly cared for Qahira these past several years.
A beauteous, warm, magnanimous, dancing heart
Soothed wounds, healed hearts, and
Bound them together with the golden thread
of Love.
Ah… she was such a teacher!
How beautifully God’s love & light reflected to me through her!
There was so much that manifested through her being that struck my heart—the sense of openness, trust, and willingness to try new things; her faith that provision would be given for the need that arose; her generosity, and little acts of consideration, like leaving little notes behind for my children when she had stayed with us in Portland; the sense that you got from her that every soul was precious, was valued; her understanding and compassion; the sacredness of the retreats I took with her; the stories she shared with me, and the poetry; her willingness to share her human side, as well as the divine.
The reflection of Love, and sunlight! Her presence pervades even more now.
I offer heartfelt wishes of comfort to her family, and also, gratitude to them for sharing her with us all.
There was a bleak time in the 1980’s, when I had lost my faith, lost my way. I met Qahira at a meeting in Portland and became initiated by her shortly thereafter. Her joyful spirit and loving embrace of all beings, renewed my faith, gave me back myself. I remember a retreat on the California coast, a visit with her busy, ebullient family in Camarillo, and many phone calls until she went to The Abode and our paths diverged. All these years, other teachers, other communities. Until this morning when I was directed to look up her name, to find this notice of her passing on.
So much joy she engendered in this world! I am so very grateful.
Dervish Housewife from Camarillo
Many of us have had the opportunity to travel with Qahira during the years when she was leading spiritual journeys-cum-retreats abroad. I was fortunate to take a magic carpet ride with Qahira and a group of Sufis from our Order on a pilgrimage to Turkey (and onward to Israel, but that’s another story). This was Qahira’s and the SOI’s first trip to Turkey. Our guide Ryad was a large, powerful personality and a formidable presence. He was clearly used to being in charge of his groups, and he seemed not to know what to make of this small gray-haired housewife and her flock, who were simply and matter of factly uncontrollable. At first he tried to assert his authority and control. Gradually, as he saw the magic unfold, he relaxed and became one of the pilgrims, clearly deferring to Qahira as Guide. He was joining us in practices and encounters and celebrations, meditating with us in the temples, serenading us with Rumi poems set to melody, and performing opera for us in the amphitheater at Ephesus. In the end, he thanked Qahira for taking him on the most transformative journey of his life, and he requested initiation.
It may have been hard for Qahira’s family and Tansen (blessings to Tansen-Muni for supporting her!!!) to give her up to us during the times she was on these journeys. I hope they know how deeply she touched people’s lives through this important work—both the lives of the Americans who traveled with her and the lives of those brothers and sisters of the heart whom she encountered in other countries. I am sure she brought home great gifts of the spirit to Fraley Lane. I know that this journey changed my life on so many levels.
Qahira used to like to say, “Love truly makes the world go ‘round,” and she told me that heart connections established between beloveds on one coast to the other, and on one continent to another, establish lines of love energy that literally move the world toward unity.
Qahira, my Guide, my Teacher, my Friend, you are in my heart forever.
Regina Coeli
Thinking of Qahira produces a big smile on my face. I loved her humour! We once travelled (1986?) together with Atum O’Kane from Frankfurt to Poland and then to Budapest passing by Vienna.
The last long hours we drove late night and she kept me awake (I was driving) by insisting to learn words and melody of a German lullaby which she kept on singing then – so sweet.
Another time she visited my country home in northern Germany, the bathroom of which had just been built. Seeing the big new bath tub Qahira immediately decided to take a bath right away – so joyful.
Once Qahira attended a seminar with Pir Vilayat south of Hamburg at pentecost, the weather was wet, I remember us standing in puddles and mud when a cuckoo called. I asked her ‘did you hear that?’ ; she looked at me with great surprise and said ‘you mean it’s a b i r d ?!?’ bursting into laughter – so funny.
Many heart warming memories…
The day Qahira passed away I – out of nothing – thought of her while I was brushing me teeth in the morning. When shortly later I switched the computer on, there was the message that she had ‘taken her leave’. I’m sure she was travelling around the globe seeing her old friends (brushing their teeth >;o)).
Thank you for the laughter we shared and for consoling me with your humour when things were tough….
I first met Qahira in mid to late 70s. I was at a gathering of cast members of ‘The Cosmic Mass and Celebration’. Someone said, “Jalelah’s coming. . .” and I heard that message passed from person to person. I asked, “Who is Jelala?”. The answer was, “You’ll see.”. Later I saw this vision of light and joy descending the stairs and friends running toward her. I knew she was going to be important to me, in my life. Many years later, when Pir Vilayat initiated me I hoped for and eventually became her student.
I love you and thank you for all your help and guidance in my life, Qahira. Wishing you a Blessed journey home.
Heart…that’s the first word I think of when I remember my beloved “QQ”, aka Qahira Qalbi, and originally and always, Jalelah…
I first met her in 1975, at the first rehearsal for the Cosmic Mass in L.A., when I was sent to a corner of the large room to sit with this silver haired housewife from Camarillo, who was to teach us how to do something called “zikr’….and oh my, did she teach it…? In fact, after giving me my first spiritual name (Siddiq – Divine Truth), she later changed it to Zakir –the one who does the Zikr…
Qahira, Beloved, so many stories, so much depth of feeling, so many memories…initiation at the East West Cultural Center…driving down the mountain after the first Big Bear retreat camp with Pir Vilayat, when she described the entire L.A. center (who had organized the camp) as the “Mission Impossible team”…bringing her to Seattle for the first time, where she immediately enchanted the entire Sufi community…later, bringing her again to Seattle, to preside at many weddings, where she joined couple after couple in circles of love and joy…retreats in the mountains, at Big Sur, in Seattle, in many places around the world, where she was a living embodiment of the Message…
And sharing “mo’ pomes” from her dear friend Coleman Barks, who had transformed them from some poet named “Rumi…” every moment a blessing, of joy, and love, and heart…
One of the last times I saw her, after she became ill and was living with Tana, we were alone together for a few minutes on a warm summer night. I asked her if she would like to get up and go out on the deck to see the beautiful full moon, and she smiled and said “yes”, so we did. And while she looked at the moon, she was shining every bit as brightly as that giant moon. Then, the next morning, she came out to the kitchen and said ”good morning”, with her sweet smile, and I said to her “you are still in there, aren’t you?”, and she just smiled……
Qahira, you are truly unforgettable, because you changed my life forever for the better in so many ways, and I know, served that purpose in many other lives as well…We are all blessed to have you in our lives, then, now, and forevermore…
May you be with God always, and always in our hearts….huuuuu………
I remember a small retreat that Qahira Qalbi led at the Immaculate Heart Hermitage in Big Sur. I was in a place where I was physically and emotionally drained from taking care of everyone else in my life. I was so glad to be at the monastery overlooking the Pacific Ocean in that majestic setting. When it came time to meet with Qahira for my daily practices, she simply said, “Honor your heart. If you feel compelled to get in the car, drive up the coast and have lunch, do so. If you would like to go and soak in a hot tub at the Esalen Institute, go…or if you simply want to walk among the redwoods, do that”. That retreat was so liberating. Qahira simply held the mirror up so that I could see something much greater. She helped me to listen to my heart’s desire. What greater practice could there be! Qahira understood the need for freedom and her very being was that
Another memory was when Mikhail and I were hosting a retreat lead by Qahira on the Topanga Canyon property. One evening a neighbor was having a party, playing loud, bluesy music which was very distracting. So Qahira suggested that we take a walk into the neighboring State Park land under the light of the full moon. We walked to what we have always called the “pow- wow” grounds gathering under a huge ancient oak tree with branches bowing clear down to the earth. It felt as if we had entered a sacred temple. Our evening was a mystical gathering of lovers….sharing Rumi poetry, dhikr and song. It was so delicious…in fact so much so that Qahira and several other” lovers” spent the night under the “Rumi” tree with only shawls to keep warm. It was her spontaneous nature and passion that turned an unfavorable situation into something quite magical and beautiful.
The wave of love that welled up in the being of Qahira Qalbi washes over and through me, and continues on a journey through time and space ….beyond the beyond. My heart is forever changed.
In loving gratitude,
Quan Yin
One time Qahira led a meditation on finding our ideal inner teacher. It consisted of vividly imagining a place that we would most like to be such as a waterfall or meadow. Then we would visualize in precise detail what our teacher would look like and sound like and what they would say. During this exercise, I had the rare and wondrous experience of “living my ideal.” I found that Qahira was my ideal teacher and the Abode meditation hall was, actually, where I would most like to be. It was a moment where imagination and reality converged in a magical harmony.
I don’t actually remember the first time I met Qahira. But one of my favorite memories was a leader’s camp (?) at Ojai. She planned to take me at, or after, lunch to meet her mother. She didn’t show up which of course was unlike her. When she did finally make it back to camp her mother had passed away. She was radiant. She had been with her mother at the time of her passing and that experience began a new chapter in her teaching. Years later at Camp Berkeley I got there too late to put up my tent so I slept in a cabin. At some point I began to hear someone talking and it finally dawned on me that it was Qahira talking to Tansen Muni. Her voice had changed. It was deeper, and I knew that she had changed as well, to a deeper level of knowing.
I loved her beauty, light, ecstacy, and fun! God’s angels are happy to have her.
Hi mom, how r u, these days…”U & I” still sing & dance…in my heart..I really miss U, one day will ‘sing & dance again…InSha Allah….its’ in 1975, that ‘Jelelah came in to my life….I didn’t know much about the Sufi Order of the West….I had spent 7 mayB 8 yrs. studying ‘Quranic Sufi Practices’ with my father & first sufi teacher…i’ was struggling to find my way on this new path of Sufism…i’m involved with the ‘Cosmic Mass & Celebration'(1975) until then my practices were filled with ‘orthodox discipline’, so hard compared to the ‘Love, Harmony & Beauty’ that was about to flood my heart….her hands ever so loving & gentle, yet strong & protective’…protective of my young heart…we would go off into a corner , away from others , practing “Dhikrs”, she showed me how to use ‘ zikr beads ‘…I would feel so different, so clear, so close to the ‘Divine Presence of Allah’…a few yrs. would pass, I travelled back to No. Africa & Europe , when I returned to the USA, my own biological family rejected me & put me out into the streets of Chicago….I was so broken, alone & hungry….the only real ‘LOVE’ I knew was given to me by Jelelah….so I called out to her, to her heart, so answered me, then I called her on the phone….she said to me ” its’ ok my son, come home to me, I will send for U…!”thats’ exactly what she did..soon I would be living in a small tent on the land in Camarillo..i attended to the many gardens & orchards there, as I learned more about the ‘teachings of Hazrat Inayat Khan & our then Pir Vilayat..i got a chance to know her mom ( Bhakti )…as well as Tansen Muni & many of her young kids at the time….Before I would go overseas again, she would communicate with me over spiritual airwaves…I remember , she would come into my mind & soon the telephone would ring…this really blew my mind…she gave me some practices about this way of communication..soon I would be able to do the same thing..she would exclaim…wow!…your got that one down, keep it up…to this day I still practice those concentrations….once I got into some serious trouble in Spain, yes I was incarcerated, not for long though. However long enough that she found me & sent me her love , as well as my first copy of ‘The Bowl of Saki’, (which I have been reunited with since I have returned the site of my birth Chicago)…talking about being totally blown away…it still does, now that I remember it…!…I asked myself, how did she find me, to this day I don’t know , however I think I know how!!!), soon after opening this “Jem of Knowledge, Wisdom, Love & Power” I was released, just like that. Even my captors were blown away & theres’ was not anything they could of done to stop it. Its’ like , she said ” Let my son go, now “. that was in early 1976. of course once again I returned to the USA. I perused what ever I was persuing, like a military carreer, engagement to a dutch national..U know just life stuff. I went back to Camarillo to spend time with my’sufi guide ‘ in 1985, she instructed me to wait in the ‘Rose Garden’…I sat on the wall near the steps, then with a profound astonishment, Qahira Qalbi, would float down the steps, much like when Piz Vilayat walked on light, I mean she didn’t walk, her feet were not moving, she glided so magnificently, so majestically, I felled to my knees & say ‘Allahu’Akbar. she said “rise my son..!”
anybody would have been so humbled by such a presence, me I cried & said ‘Mom I love U & I am afraid, I don’t what to do about my human heart, I think i’m love, but i’m so scared, why?”…silently she gave me a hug & smiled as she wiped away my human tears. she never said anything or answered my ‘why’..just continued to smile as we walk the length of the rose garden & back to the house..not one word…instead she gave me ordination as ‘healing conductor’. I was instructed to meet with Pir Vilayat at the ‘Joshua Retreat’, it was then that she made a formal declaration to me, on being her son. About 10yrs. later, while she was at the “Abode of the Message”, I came to be with her, before I headed west again. One afternoon, she requested I sit with her, she said , there’s’ something of great importance concerning the ‘Sufi Order’ & I…with my surprise & equal curiosity I joined her…we sat at a bench & eat a bit, then she said to me, ” Iman-Ali, would U be willing to meet with the “Jaamiat” & discuss not what the ‘Sufi Order’ is doing wrong, but what the ‘Sufi Order’ needs to do to attract more minorities..???. The year is 1995..! Again, I was amazed & equally honored by her request. It humbled me that she thought of my that much & so high. She said, don’t answer me now, take some time. well since I was deeply committed to the ‘Sufi Order’ & had help rebuild the “Abode’ back in 1975, I didn’t hesitate for moment. I said yes, anything for U & the ‘Sufi Order’ you both have saved my life & I am grateful.
It was then that she gave me that name ‘Iman-Ali’…My communication with my ‘true spiritual mother’ has not wavered. I was even given the blessing to communicate with ‘Qahia Qalbi’, before her ultimate transition,i would call her at the compound in Camarillo, in silence sometimes, a few times in dialogue & for a brief moment she remember me, her little ‘dark-skinned son’..I still cry overwhelming , at this very moment I cry, cry like a river flowing seeking the Divine Ocean of Love…Oh Allah, My Lord, if there was ever a time where U held me , covered me, blessed, guided & gave me “True Love” from another human being, its’ QAHIRA QALBI. For have never felt a ‘LOVE’ like hers & even to this very moment I still search for such a ‘Love’ among others , as I walk this “Path of Love’…InSha Allah , one day I will feel that again…my heart longs for it every breath I take…Ya Allah…What I must say is that her ‘Love” for me been transmitted to my second spiritual guide in the ‘Sufi Order of the West’, and that “Breath of Divine Love” now resides in the Kefayat of the Sufi Healing Orderof North America. May Allah Al-Mighty bless, guide & protect my current spiritual guide…Kefayat Devi Tide….La illaha illa’ Allah…
Remembering…the foundational practice of any Sufi…met Qahira in the purple mountains majesty in Oracle, Arizona. Her reputation preceded her – stories of her being “born” into the Sufi order…I was the cook for retreat in 1981, having come to live at the Abode in 1980. Because I orchestrated all 3 meals, I was usually in the kitchen from before dawn until after dinner clean-up. I have found that a dose of hops in the form of a bottle of beer was a perfect solution to allow me some instant relaxation at the end of a long work day. So here was the kitchen all clean with just a candle burning while I sat to plan for the following day. There appeared in the serving window this white-haired radiant beauty…instant attraction/magnetism, Qahira. I asked her if she drank beer. Affirmative. I had been gifted with a 6 pack of Dos XX from the fellow Hu picked me up at the train station in Tucson…never tried it before and it was lovely to have company and to share. So Qahira came in and sat with me…and this is what became our tradition when and wherever we would meet, to have a bottle of Dos XX. At one point I asked if she would adopt me…be my surrogate mother…she said yes without any hesitation. I even shared a Dos XX with Qahira’s mom, Murshida Bhakti one evening when I visited at Christmas of ’82…I made perogis ( a popular Polish/Slavic dumpling of sorts) for the family Christmas meal as well. Always it is so wonderful to be in the company of a loving family.
Ms. QQ spread the message of love harmony and beauty so beautifully and with style — excentrically, uniquely and lovingly. It has taken me awhile to share this, but everything comes in its time. May the blessings of Qahira’s presence in ours lives continue to inspire…
Re-membering, reliving, poignantly, of….meeting the incarnate joy of Qahira, laughing together at the similarity of our given names, walking, singing in Big Sur and later, at her welcoming home in Camarillo, Tanzen’s beautiful voice– all through my dreaming last night.
So, looked her up this morning to read all these comments and startled to find one from me. Exactly six years ago! I know, Qahira, there are no coincidences. All part of the love that binds us all.
May the blessings of God be upon you, so many memories, in love and thankfulness, yours in service, Atar
Qahira was my first Sufi teacher and quickly had me do a three day silent retreat in the avocado orchard behind her house. I happily recall the surprising liberation of her council and my youthful excitement on stepping onto the path.