Sufi Remembrance

Birthdate:  December 16, 1948   URS Date:  August 24, 2017

           Astara and Ashoka

Obituary for Astara Matthews

December 16, 1948 – August 24, 2017

Written by Rabia Mead and Ashoka Matthews

Astara was born Eiko Tsuzuki (the Chinese character “Ei” means one in ten thousand and “ko” means child) in Tokyo in post-WW2 Japan with its many deprivations. The family moved to Nagoya when she was a child and then later back to Tokyo.

Her father had been involved in the aeronautical design of the Zero fighter plane during the war–after the war, however, he was employed by a shipbuilding company but his heart was no longer in his work.  Astara had a difficult and contentious relationship with him, and she basically spent her entire life coming to grips with the influence he–and by extension, his parents and ancestors–had had over her when she was a child.  Forgiveness was one of her inherent qualities, and she was never heard to bear a grudge against him because of the deep pain he had caused her.

At the age of 13, Astara’s younger sister Hiroko was born. Her feelings for Hiroko were similar to those of a mother for her child.

Astara excelled in her studies and placed 7^th overall in the national annual examination at the end of high school.  However, her father did not support her going to university partly because he felt that no Japanese man would consider a woman who was smarter than him to be marriageable.

When Astara was 20, he practically kicked her out of the house so she had to fend for herself–a challenge which, under the circumstances, she willingly accepted.  She made her way using her English-language skills in a secretarial capacity before becoming more or less self-employed as a Japanese-into-English translator.  She first met Ashoka in 1979 when he visited one of the companies she was working for and did a test translation which she was asked to assess.  Some months later, Ashoka was surprised to encounter her on the street in a different part of Tokyo as she rode her bike by him.  He ended up asking her out for lunch.  Ashoka (Stuart), born in London, had been living in Japan since 1970, and was already married to a Japanese woman although irreparable fault lines had begun to appear in that marriage.  Astara was not intent on getting involved with a married man especially as married men in Japan traditionally had affairs.  However, Astara and Ashoka soon realized that this was going to turn out to be more serious, and they started living together in 1980.  They were both interested in finding their way to the deeper side of life.  They were initially taken with the work of Gurdjieff as relayed in the books of PD Ouspensky.

In early 1982, Astara was asked to interpret for Himayat Inayati, and when Shahabuddin David Less came to Japan in October of that year, she again served as the interpreter. By the end of the seminar, they realized this was the teacher and this was the path they had been looking for, and they were then initiated by Shahabuddin. In the fall of 1983, they left Japan and moved to the Bay Area to be close to Shahabuddin, and they devoted themselves to the Sufi teachings of Hazrat Inayat Khan while supporting themselves by translating documents from Japanese into English.

Astara was a remarkable being.  Even though a native speaker of Japanese, she had an almost natural facility with the English language which is unusual for Japanese speaker.  Ashoka said that Astara’s English was just about fully formed before they met.   She spoke English with a clarity and depth which was startling for it being her second language.  She was clearly able to articulate her inner states. She listened deeply   making her a wonderful friend. She and Ashoka traveled to many retreats and went on a number of tours with Shahabuddin to Tibet, Bali and India.  In 1988, Astara and Ashoka were married by Shahabuddin in Sausalito, Marin County.

In 1988, Astara and Ashoka moved from San Francisco to Fairfax, north of the Golden Gate. They studied the Medlevi turn with Jalaladdin who was living in Fairfax at the time.  They continued to participate in overseas and local retreats and to absorb Murshid’s teachings.  In 1997, they moved to the Sufi community of the Abode of the Message in upstate New York.   After a year at the Abode, they bought a house in Williamstown, Massachusetts with a lovely view of the Berkshires.  Astara started to delve into drawing and painting.  She continued to work at translation as her day job, but her real passion was for painting.  She had a natural ability and used photos as her source material.

In November 2005, Astara and Ashoka moved to Silver City, New Mexico where they had a bigger house and a less drastic winter.  In New Mexico, Astara continued her passion for painting, spending as much time as she could while continuing to work in translation.

Astara had a difficult but deep relationship with her sister who lives in Japan.  She traveled to Japan often to visit, and was present with her Mom when she died while continuing to be drawn into the dynamic between her sister and her sister’s daughter.

Both Ashoka and Astara attended many of the Sufi Retreats presented by Taj, Gayan and Blanchefleur.  Taj became Astara’s guide and was a deep source of inner healing.  In 2006, Ashoka started traveling to South America and began exploring ancient indigenous spiritual practices. They decided to buy an apartment in Ecuador, north of Quito between two volcanos, as a retirement option.  Ashoka had been studying Spanish, and Astara also made the effort to pick up some of the essentials.

Astara had retained her Japanese citizenship and lived in the US with the Green Card.  As she approached retirement, she made the very difficult decision, to become an American citizen, primarily as a hedge against any problems collecting US social security during retirement.  She did not want to give up her Japanese citizenship but the Japanese did not allow dual citizenship.  Astara was always mindful of the fact that when she had lived in Japan, she had felt that the conformity and conventionality of Japanese society placed unacceptable constraints on her authentic self, but she still felt very connected to her Japanese identity.  After passing the immigration test, she was still ambivalent about becoming a citizen even on the way to the ceremony, but later she did not express any regrets.

In 2014, a small lump in Astara’s left breast, which she had had for many years, started growing in size and she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Her life began to revolve around finding a cure.  She was quite adamant about not wanting surgery or chemo, and instead opted for a strenuous natural regime through a cancer clinic in Mexico. She spent all of her time doing many strenuous treatments and made serval trips to Mexico for more treatment.

Astara and Ashoka made one last trip together to the Peruvian Amazon in November 2016.  She was already weakened physically, but was determined to make the most of the experience under the guidance of a trusted shaman.  She said that feeling the deeply healing and magnanimous feminine energy of the river and jungle was worth all the effort and difficulties.

Astara was not afraid of dying.  She talked about it openly, and even as the time came closer, she never quite gave up the possibility that she would be healed.  She was intent on enjoying life in the ways that she could, especially her favorite Japanese food and chocolate.  She had a group of dedicated practitioners treating her as well as some lovely home caregivers.  When it did become very clear she was dying, she willingly and lovingly embraced what she needed to do to let go.  She continued to be cared for at home by Ashoka until they decided that she needed full-time professional help in a local facility associated with hospice.  She was finally moved to the facility on August 21, and she died three days later, in the evening.  Ashoka and her friend Maryam were with her on the last day.  On the way to the facility, the first time out of the house in six months, she said to Maryam: “Do you see it?  The Light!”  About six hours after she died, Ashoka woke up and was startled to hear a sole clap of thunder right over the house at 2 AM.  (“Make of this what you will,” he said.)

Astara is survived by her husband, her sister Hiroko and niece in Yokohama, Japan and by many friends throughout the US.  Astara asked Ashoka to scatter her ashes in Peru at Lake Titicaca which he did after a ceremony with a local shaman in mid-November on the island of Amantani.